Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Back on the grind......

Slept so well only to be woken up by the annoying (yet fun song) of my alarm from my cell phone. Ok I lied I was actually woken up by the sweet voice of my love calling from his flight in Chicago. He could only talk for a second or two to tell me he landed and had less than 20 mins to get to his next flight. I could hear the sound of frustration in his tone but I didn't book the flight the Army did lol.

Squeezing in a few mins of sleep between snooze buttons has become a routine for me lately. I never used to be like this, once I was up I was up. Now I do find myself getting lazy.... yknow not wanting to dishes, stuff like that and again I never used to be like that. Granted there are times where I didn't care but I used to take such pride in my home, no matter how small or cluttered it could be. Don't get me wrong, I still take alot of pride in my home its just with my current job I have become so drained. Physically, mentally and emotionally I am just UGH. I LOVE what I do, there is nothing more rewarding that helping someone in need, but its the PEOPLE I work with that make me want to burn the building down. They are so negative, so hateful, so spiteful and two faced its rediculous. They say its the hours that make the turnover rate so high and I beg to differ. Yes I do work TOO much but alot of it is my fault for signing up for overtime (That OT pay gets addicting). With Brian home now I want to spend as much time with him as I can ... especially since he may deploy again soon. Now when he was deployed last time I didn't mind working all the time it wasn't like I had anything better to do? But lately that place is going to hell in a fiery handbasket.......and honestly I don't wanna be around that anymore. Its starting to bleed over into my everyday  life and no offense but my relationship is worth more than my job. Alot of the officers and a few other people who used to dispatch say that this profession breeds fat and bitter people. How sad is that?! The average "lifespan" of a dispatcher is about 3 years.... i'm hitting 2 so its about that time.

Long story short: For the last 2 days ...ok yesterday I spent all day applying online for a new career. Fingers crossed I find something soon before I just up and quit.

So I go back on the grind today.... Keep all matches and lighters away from me please.