Thursday, June 16, 2011

My reflection.......

Who am I? Who have I become? What have I accomplished so far in my life? Who am I INSIDE!?

I have lost my touch with reality sometimes..... With my faith, with hope, with love</3

Love: What does it mean anymore? Does it mean starting over? Working through everything.... and praying for success, but preparing for failure?

I know i'm not perfect. I don't expect anyone else to be.

I am broken and I need to be fixed........ The thing is I don't know how to even fix myself or where to even start.....


Sunday, June 12, 2011


People piss me off. I am sick of stupid girls. Stupid guys and stupid people in general. I am sick of this town. I want out! I feel trapped here..... like I can't breathe or somethin! I can't wait to leave lol

Anyways back to blogging.....

I have officially been released and am a full fledged officer. As far as the "Love Dare" goes we haven't been keepin .........okay I haven't cause I fall asleep as we read it every night. Brian says its good lol

Tomorrow we are goin to a BBQ with some friends of ours... battles from Brians old unit last deployment. After they all got back we all got scattered through out the post. Well now everyone is goin different ways and this will be a good chance for us to hang out again before all that happens. I will miss everyone so much!!!

Tonight was also the last episode for this season of "Army Wives" </3 and they aren't starting a new season till NEXT year boo! 

Well thats it for me ............ my brain is mush i'm tired gonna eat some popcorn and chillax...


Sunday, June 5, 2011


So my husband says I was a fish in another life because I love the water so much..........

Of course my Zodiac symbol is "Aquarius" <3

January 21 - February 19
Slogan: "I know, therefore am"


Aquarius is the most unpredictable sign of the zodiac.

Aquarius women are referred to as the “heavenly bohemians,” because they seem to have their own rules and regulations as to their conduct and they completely reject others telling them what to do.

Aquarius is a fixed, airy sign. This means that these are girls are very rational by nature and exceedingly firm in their opinions.

Although an Aquarian woman might disagree completely with what you believe, she will certainly be open-minded enough to support your personal right to your beliefs.

Do not attempt to impose your ideas or philosophies upon the Aquarius woman as she will powerfully resist any attempt by you to influence, or change in any way, how she goes about leading her life.

There are however, a minority of Aquarian women who are quite prejudiced. They tend to keep within only their own group and reject all other system of belief as false and unimportant compared to the “real truth” that they know to be right. The majority of Water Bearers however, are social experimenters and futuristic defenders of the oppressed and downtrodden.
You never really know who is exactly everybody, either the personality, interest, likes/dislikes or life reference of hers/his. However, since you are connected to an Aquarian woman, you'd better learn, might be abit, about her. Here is a few quoted about aquarian female:

The Aquarius woman can be described as unconventional, unpredictable and inconsistent. Aquarius personality is difficult to understand. An Aquarius woman sees the world differently. She is beautiful, having captivating eyes and a unique type of hair texture. She neither wears flashy clothes nor is fashion conscious. On the contrary, she will be dressed in a highly unusual manner, combining both the old and latest fashion trends. Yet, it looks good! She is talkative, honest, likes adventures, but is quite paradoxical.....
Independence and freedom are the most prized qualities of the Aquarius female. The normal society norms are not for her, and she never likes being directed. You will also notice that she will never follow the exact instructions given by anyone (including recipe books...hahahha...really?). She likes to experiment with everything. She has myriad of interests and needs freedom to pursue them. As she is intelligent and imaginative, she can find any subject under the sky interesting and will not hesitate in pursuing her interests.

Well, everyone has plus and minus on the both sides :)


Saturday, June 4, 2011

Love Dare Progress.....

As you may or may not know Brian and I have started "The Love Dare"


1st night we forgot about it.. then last night I fell asleep as he read it... we'll try again tonight...

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Rain Showers............

Yesterday it rained <3 after 100+ days without a drop it was such a sweet pleasure! I loved being able to drive in my unit with the windows rolled down..... taking in the sweet smells of the desert and farm fields......

Today its supposed to rain again.......... that would be nice! hell let it rain all summer! lol

Also today.... Brian & I will be starting "The Love Dare"

Our marriage has changed. we have changed. we love each other very much - that won't ever change.... but we are no longer in the "honeymoon" phase. They say this is the time when most marriages go through the hardest times. I just pray we make it through it. God has saved me in my darkest and hardest times and now I hope that he can help save my marriage.

Mostly its me that needs the healing. I have alot wrong with me and I need help. Its taken me this long to ask for it- yup i'm that stubborn... but better late than never. I'm willing to change to find myself again. I need that feeling that isn't paranoid, scared, lonely or many other things..... So today is DAY1. And I hope that it will be a great experience because I am tired of feeling like my world is going to collapse from under me. That is not a good way to live.

So.......... Today is a new day. God see me through this one okay?