Sunday, July 31, 2011

One day at a time....

Today was hard. My sister and I decided to see our great friend (my "BFF") off as he deployed today.
*Sigh* these things aren't easy. Granted it wasn't my husband but he is still my family and it still hurts.

But we did well in a sense that we didn't cry when we said our "see you laters" nor did we cry when we dropped another buddy off at his barracks... we DID bawl our friggin eyes out right after that. I'm so glad she went with me..... She made it alot easier to deal with, even though it's not really EASY anyways. We spent a few hours on post, took a walk and just tried to wind down. Deployment days are physically and emotionally draining I am so tired.

On the way home we had a really great discussion:

My sister and I are not blood related. she is like a best friend but more. Anyways, she grew up with a Marine mother and Navy father.... nuff said. I grew up with a mother who grew up on a farm and a father who grew up on a ranch. Yet I am the one who married the soldier. She told me today that she doesn't think she could survive the deployments, trainings, TDY's and other things... that she admired the women who do. She asked me how I do it.... I simply said:

"One day at a time"

One day at a time is all I can do.

Lately I just don't have an appetite...but I make myself eat, even though it may not be much.
I don't feel like sleeping...but my body is tired so I lay down till I can eventually relax enough to sleep.
I don't want to work, clean or do anything BUT I do it.

I think that deployments when you have children have to be a little easier. Not in a sense that it's easier being alone without the love of your life, but the fact that someone NEEDS you. Like my dogs... they are all I have but they NEED me. They need to be fed, walked, played with, loved etc.... so it gives me a reason to get up in the mornings (even if I don't want to). If I had a child and Brian was deployed, it'd be easier because it would keep me busy, and get myself down to a routine that would help with the separation. Yes it would be hard because I'd be doing it all alone but the fact that I know I have to keep striving, to keep going every single day because someone depends on it.... makes the drive to survive the deployments that much easier and feasible.

That's my opinion. I guess when we have children and if/when Brian deploys my feelings or opinions may change.....

All I know is that I pray for every one's safe return soon, especially my BFF<3

Tonight's Song: